So on Caidyn's third birthday I want to acknowledge the three biggest things she has taught me so far.
1: The power of a hug.
I'll never forget cuddling tiny Caidyn in the hospital after her arrival. I was, admittedly, a little possessive over my baby girl, never wanting to allow others to hold her when I could be holding her. I just relished in those hugs and cuddles. Even now, as she is such a big girl compared to that tiny baby, she still reminds me of the importance of hugs. Some mornings as we begin to rush to get ready for school she'll be fussy and ask for a "good morning hug". And my heart swells up - knowing I'm about to get as much calm and refocus out of that hug as she will. Even if we are doing separate things (she could be reading a book or playing a game on her kindle and I could be feeding Ellie) she'll ask to cuddle together. Its a wonderful remind of the beauty of human contact and the grounding it can bring.
2: Lower and raise your expectations - all at the same time.
Self admitted type A personality over here. I like things tidy, planned, purposeful, and efficient. I crave that in fact. And then I had children. And I still like things that way, but I have learned to lower my expectations for how a plan is going to go, that my house will be tidy all the time, and efficiency is something I reserve for my time when the girls are with someone else besides me. But, when I lower the expectations of tidy, planned, purposeful, and efficient I raise my expectations of surprise, imagination, play, and observation. Caidyn's day exhibits all of those characteristics to such a high extent - and I find that when I let go and follow her lead amazing and wonderful things happen to us both. And I can always be tidy, planned, purposeful, and efficient after she goes to bed. Late, of course. She was too busy imagining and playing to go to bed on time ;)
3: How amazing it is to be a mother.
Truth be told, I wasn't sure I ever wanted children. I didn't enjoy baby sitting, I spend my days with middle school students who are aware its weird to pick your nose or your wedgie, and I had a hard time trying to play with or talk to small children or babies. But as I watched Brian with his nephews (we didn't have a niece yet!) and how much joy he got out of playing with them I knew I wanted to be able to make him a father. I felt then that with the right partner I wouldn't mind becoming a mother. And then Caidyn arrived. And I knew the true joy of motherhood. The smiles reserved just for you. The ability to be someone's comfort source - someone's definition of safe. I love being a mother (evident by my 2029302 graphic t's about motherhood - the last time I had that many t-shirts about any one thing it was all my emo bands from high school - :P). It is my most favorite thing in the world, by far.
Three lessons taught by my big three year old girl <3 Happy Third Birthday, Caidyn!
No comments:
Post a Comment